What Do I Do with My Parents?

One relationship that is in the middle of changing during your college years is your connection to your parents. Whether you have traveled far away to college or still are living at home, your communication, boundaries and relationship with your parents naturally will shift. They always will be your parents, but there should be a natural movement toward your parents becoming your friends more than your authority figures. This might feel strange; do not expect your parents to make this transition smoothly. It will be difficult for you and them; but as you become an adult, studying in college, make it a priority to get to know your parents and honor them even more. This is the commandment in the Bible that has a wonderful promise for you (Exod. 20:12).

How do you make this transition with your parents? Let me ask you another question. Do you know your parents? This might seem like a strange question because they are your parents, but take a minute and contemplate the meaning. Do you know their interests and passions? Your perspective on life, responsibilities, priorities and values are probably shifting and adapting as you become an adult in college. Your conversation level is increasing. This includes how you relate to Mom and Dad. There might have been some difficult days in high school with your parents, but there were probably some highlights, too. Either way, start fresh.

Invite them on a date. If you are away at college, set up a date with your mom or dad when you come home. If you are living at home, invite them individually on dates in the next few weeks. On the date, ask some of the following questions with the purpose of building your relationship with each of them. Tell them at the beginning of the time together over coffee or a meal that you really want to work on your relationship with him or her.

Questions to ask them on your date:
1. How did you feel about me heading off to college?
2. What is your favorite thing to do?
3. What can I do for you to serve you today?
4. What would you do if you had all the time and money in the world to do it?
5. What are your views on marriage?
6. What do you think about the church and God?
7. What is your greatest unfulfilled dream? What are you doing to reach it today?
8. What place in the world would you most like to visit?
9. What was your first full-time job?
10. What do you remember about the major world events you've lived through?
11. Where did you first meet?
12. Who's your closest childhood friend, and who is that person today?
13. What's your favorite kind of music?
14. What were your favorite television shows growing up?
15. For whom did you vote in the last election? Why?
16. Do you wait until the last possible moment to fill the gas tank?
17. What's your favorite restaurant?
18. In which states have you lived? Where would you like to visit?
19. What is your favorite Bible verse? Why

Make up more questions to ask them. Perhaps you already have some in mind.

During your college years, turn a new leaf and take time to get to know your parents at a new level of friendship. This new relationship will sharpen you and help you grow. You will cherish it for years to come. Go make the phone call and set up the date.