Good Friends

Long ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle said, "Without friends, no one would choose to live." I probably do not need to tell you how important friends are in your life. I think the next generation of college students loves and lives for friendships. I believe Aristotle got it right! A friend of mine who is in college said, "A good friend is someone who lets me be vulnerable, but someone who's also willing to be vulnerable with me. A good friend is someone who prays, listens, cries, challenges and just stays silent, too. He or she seems to know when you're operating out of hurt and desires to bring you home." I like that. We all need friends like that.

Certainly Jesus is the focus of our hearts; but good friendships are essential for the mature, Christian adult. We were built for community; and the Father, Son and Holy Spirit models this kind of connection throughout the Bible. This is why God did not leave Adam alone in the garden with animals for very long (nothing against animals). There needed to be an Eve for human connection. I don't think I need to say much more. You get the picture.

What does it mean to be a good friend during the college years? Here are five suggestions as you pursue old and new friends during these strategic years of your life.

First, good friends provide protection. They don't leave you in danger. To be a good friend involves some healthy and godly protection from a variety of attacks. You know friends look out for each other. They keep each other from going the wrong direction. This provides accountability according to God's instructions. With God first, friends have each other's back.

Second, good friends are faithful, no matter what. In college and life in general, times will get stressful and difficult. A good friend doesn't run away when the pressures come. Friends tell other friends they are here for them no matter what the circumstances. If a difficult and stressful event happens in your friendship, keep discussing. Maybe you need some time to cool down, but ultimately good friends don't walk away.

Third, good friends always tell the truth. This requires love and gentleness when appropriate, but friends do not lie or fake it. Telling the truth requires wisdom and courage. The truth needs to be told at the right time, in the right way and to the right people. We can't run from truth even if it's hard. If you love your friend, you'll be willing to tell the truth even when it's difficult. Be sensitive, but care enough to tell the truth.

Fourth, good friends don't point fingers and accuse. Friends who really care ask questions; they don't place blame. If you're selfless, thinking of your friend as better than yourself, you won't accuse him or her of anything. Jesus served His friends (disciples). Ask questions for clarity, but don't point fingers. Friends give the benefit of the doubt and do not draw conclusions until they have the whole story.

Fifth, good friends go the extra mile. If there is a difficult situation, they are quick and intentional about making the first move toward reconciliation. They value the other more than themselves as Jesus demonstrated. They love with patience and care, as Paul explained to the Corinthian church (see 1 Cor. 13).

College can be an exciting time. Do not go it alone. Pull up your sleeves, and put in the hard work of making lasting friendships. It might be hard at times, but it will pay off for a lifetime.